Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I'll Follow The Sun

Summer is starting.  Big brother's last day of the 4th grade is tomorrow.  I can't believe it.  He is grown. Playing baseball and doing chores and having an opinion about things.  He states facts now.  Things he has learned, tricks he has picked up in his travels.  He has hilarious jokes.  He rolls his eyes. He eats everything in sight until it's time to sleep.  He plays hard and sleeps deep.  He hates mornings. He has messy hair, dirty nails.  He hates mushrooms. He likes brussel sprouts and apple juice.  He says things like "it's not probable, but it's possible."  I always check his Google history.  He has been Googling some pretty awesome stuff:

"How to be a real ninja in real life"
"What is the distance between the bases in minor league baseball?"
"What is the distance between the bases in major league baseball?"
"Spiderman games to play online"
"How much do whales weigh?"
"How do you weigh a whale?"
"Pictures of all the venomous snakes in the whole world ever"

He's so cool. He knows lyrics to songs and who sings them.  He really likes being a big brother and he's really great at it.  Sometimes he gets bored just holding the baby and making noises so he lets little brother pull his hair or twist his nose. I think that's really nice of him.

The faster he grows, the more I miss when he was little.  He was my best buddy, my only buddy, for so long.  He was such a great little kid. We went on so many adventures. He was so sweet. The sweetest.  I am so proud of who he is growing up to be.

Oh, little Big brother, you were so so snuggly.  Now I have to tackle you for a hug and I love you so dearly. I hope fifth grade is kind to your compassionate heart. I hope this summer you finally get freckles on your baby skin face.  It's so un-freckly.  It's unfair because I'm so darn freckly. I want you to be freckly too so we can be forever freckle friends.  (This is something we talked about often when he was 3 or 4.  He wanted freckles too because I had them and I would tell him "when you get older, in the summer, you'll have them and we'll be forever freckle friends"  and that was good enough for him.)  I think you're wonderful.  I thank God every day for who you are.

little brother turned 6 months and I didn't really document it here.  We were on our little family vacation when he turned 6 months.  He is learning really fast now.  He says 'Dah Dah' pretty much constantly.  It's nice for me, because I get to pretend we're blaming DahDah for things, even if he's not responsible.  Our daily dialogue is certainly getting better:
Me - "Hey, little, wanna eat something?  Let's get a bib!"
little -  blink.blink.stare.drool.
Me - "Oh no! No clean bibs! What happened?"
little - "Dah! dah!"
Me -  "gasp!  Dahdah didn't wash the bibs?!  Bad dahdah!"

It's a fun game. And usually Dahdah is at work and can't defend himself when we play it. He hasn't said Mama yet. I try to help him, but he just laughs at me.  He is getting more mobile and it's pretty amazing to watch.  He gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth, flings his body forward, and flops on his stomach.  He slowly inches toward his destination and it's just remarkable. He doesn't have teeth yet, but he is drooling quite a bit. His sixth month on this earth has been a joyous one. He is such a happy, sweet boy. A truly joyful little person, making the world so much brighter.  He is more curious now, reaching and grabbing and tasting things.  He is so delicate and sweet and pink and lovey.  Baby bear.

lake michigan
I'm mentally getting things in order for summer with the two boys.  Planning little activities that will keep both boys happy and satisfied and entertained.  There is such an age gap that it is difficult sometimes.  If we could just teach little brother to play Wii...

can we do this ALL summer?
I made a roasted chicken for the family a few nights ago.  Making roasted chicken brings me a lot of joy.  Something about turning this cold, pink, ugly thing into a beautiful, delicious roasted masterpiece is a good feeling.  I like getting the skin crispy and the meat just a little juicy.  I feel like the mom of the year when I place a perfect roasted chicken on the table for my family.  We carve it with our hands sometimes and eat with our fingers and I am filled with pride.  I want to do this more over the summer.

I also want to make more desserts at home.  Less going out for milkshakes and junk.  One my biggest culinary weaknesses is a pan of boxed brownies.  I feel like I have had a lot of delicious, delicate, beautiful desserts in my life on birthdays and various weekends and trips and celebrations, but sometimes I would just ignore all of it for a warm 9 x 13, a tub of frosting (vanilla), and a fork.  It's embarrassing and disgusting. I accept it. 

I had a dream last night that I saw Johnny Cash perform at a diner while I ate eggs Benedict with my dad.

I got chased to the front door, full speed, by a German Shepard who was in the woods two nights ago.  It was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

I made it through both of those oddities and today our new dryer was delivered.  It's wonderful.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I don't want to forget.

"You build on failure.  You use it as a stepping stone.  Close the door on the past.  You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it.  You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."  - Johnny Cash

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