Sunday, November 25, 2012

California Dreamin'

After a long, lovely week home with the family, tomorrow we return to work and school. For the last five days, we've eaten more courses than one should - and then the left overs.  We've done some light Christmas shopping, nothing too crazy, just enough to get us in the spirit.  D and I spent an evening away, just he and I, shopping and eating.  It was a lovely time.

We spent a night in a casino hotel, so we did a little gambling.  We won some money, and then lost it. We discovered just how much gambling is not for us.I guess we work too hard for our money to play games with it.

"You know horses are smarter than people.  You've never heard of a horse going broke betting on people."  -Will Rogers

The food at the casino was fantastic.  The room was lovely, the bed was so nice. A night without worrying about the boys was priceless.

What a tremendous blessing, to celebrate our wedding anniversary - worry free, in the brisk air. We walked around and reminisced and bought new shoes for ourselves. He is my best friend. My very best friend, indeed.  How did I sleep before him?  How did anything make sense without him? I can't remember. I don't want to.

We got the Christmas tree up. We listened for hours on end as Big brother listed the endless, overwhelming list of things he wanted for Christmas. He is very detailed and passionate about what he wants.  He gets excited just telling us about some of the things he wants.  He doesn't even mention things he doesn't want, like boots or underwear. Instead, he goes on and on, naming specific action figures movies games trinkets adventures electronic bendable light-up wifi rocketing floating thing he has ever wanted.  More than anything, he dreams. It's ok to want. And it is certainly ok to share the wants you have - without holding back.  In fact, it's one of the most fun things to do as a kid.

As he rambled, I remembered the feeling that anything was possible. The feeling that: these are just my parents.They couldn't possibly understand the limitless capabilities of Santa Claus on Christmas morning.  Santa Claus doesn't have a price limit. He doesn't expect me to be reasonable. This is Christmas. Anything can happen on Christmas.  So I listened, and began to dream a little myself.

When you're an adult - especially an adult with children - no one asks you what you want for Christmas.  And if they do, it is generally met with a weak "oh, you know...whatever."  And that is what you get, whatever.  Whatever they come across that is available in your favorite color (plaid).  Whatever they find that would compliment your bathroom's color scheme (white) or will make a nice addition to something you have a collection of (picture frames), even though you aren't certain how you acquired that collection to begin with (no clue).

I asked Big brother to try to funnel some of his Christmas dreams onto a list, one that I could carry with me and now have several lists. Turns out, it's difficult to remember everything in one sitting.  Sometimes he needs to write a short list on a scrap of paper, which gets handed off to me to add to the existing list, bless his heart.  Sometimes he makes me repeat the name of the COOLEST LEGO SET EVER, over and over and over so that I can add it to the list myself when we get home.

Anyway, a list is always the way to go because, chances are even if you don't get everything (or anything at all) on the list - I really believe it is lovely to have something to allow your mind wander to that childish realm of possibilities. Even if it is just a few physical items that would make life easier or more pleasant or that are just nice to look at. Even if you could never afford it. Even if it's all just a dream.

"Our life is composed greatly of dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action.  They must be woven together."  - Anais Nin

So, without further ado ...


'Listen, when all of this around us falls over - I tell you what we're gonna do - Hey, you will shelter me, my love - And I will shelter you.'


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